Other account ->







New Zealand
I have returned from New Zealandary, last Thursday actually but I've been colleging and traveling. ALWAYS with the traveling!

Great time with th'family, went on a road trip, bungee jumped, jet boated, skyswing swung, ate a hangi, visited places of thermal activity, visited mountains, saw Mordor... loads of things, it might take about 10 paragraphs if I tried to name them all!

Though, college wise, the trip came at the worst time as I have again missed two weeks out of a 4 week assignment, it was actually extremely beneficial as it made me come to a lot of conclusions and revelations. They say that happens when you travel, I always thought it was just a load of bollocks.



Musings and revelations
(actually nothing to do with Muse the band, but I only just the connection there. I snorted.)
Whilst away, I had some massive revelations.


I don't hate graphic design.
I do, however, highly dislike how it is taught, it's utterly soul destroying, but it isn't the graphic design that I actually hate. This is HUGE for me, as for the past 3 years, all I've been spouting is how much I hate graphics (just as a reminder, I'm in a 4 year graphic design course in college) and just through noticing and appreciating some things on my travels, I realised just how much I DO like graphics.

I feel a very odd sense of peace from this, y'have no idea!


College is not more important than living.
Neither college nor work are the be all and end all. They are IMPORTANT, I don't mean I've come to this magical conclusion that college is useless and therefore I don't have to go, because that's not a revelation, that's just dossing! And without a job, ultimately, you don't have money and well we all know where that goes.

I have denied myself time with friends, time off with family, time for myself just to play a computer game, time to draw for myself... I have denied myself all this time, and even WHEN I spend time with others or drawing for myself, I'm forever feeling guilty and "omg, omg, I have to go, I have to do college work". I almost didn't go on the new zealand trip, because of college.

I CAN enjoy life, I can live, I don't have to just survive anymore, and that's how I've felt for years, that I am not living, just existing.

I will do college work, I will do it well - I am not a dosser, but I will also spend time with the ones I love, I will also spend time doing things for myself that I love, and I will not feel guilty about it. I AM allowed to have a life. Again, massive step for me and sense of calm.



New Work
As it stands, I am pretty unhappy with my work.
It is not at the level I'd like it to be, and I feel I have to break a few of my own rigid rules to improve (as in, stop spending extortionate hours on one picture, stop getting bogged down in detail, stop being so concerned with uploading things)

A part of me does want to throw everything in storage until I improve, but I'm not sure if that's wise just now.

I am disappointed that I have had nothing new in ~RamHorns for a while too, since that was supposed to be a place for my experiments, and it's turned into some sort of photography account. For those wanting to see experimental drawings, concepts, people and quests at improvement, don't worry, it ISN'T a photography account, and as soon as I actually start producing work again, I shall be uploading them :3

I hope, through my sense of renewal, that I will start producing work again very soon. For college, for myself, for other people. It's a big job, but I'm feeling optimistic



Questions
What is most important to you in life/some of the most important things?
Is your work space/room messy or tidy?
Would you rather have 10 kittens or 10 puppies?
Figurines or Plushies?